Wow

It's mid-August and I'm woefully behind on blogging again.  I did so well in July (exceptionally well actually) ... I don't know what happened.  We've been relatively busy the past few weeks -- doing lots of fun things with lots of fun people -- and truthfully have been floating a long in a very pleasant "groove."  The beginning of August, however, brought a lot of anticipation of a lot of BIG changes.  Changes that all take place tomorrow ... 

Perhaps I've been avoiding that reality.  As in, if I don't write it, it won't happen ;).  But here we are.  August 16th is just a day away and it can't be denied any longer.  Tomorrow Millie starts her first day of preschool and I start working more hours.  I'll be transitioning from 5 half days to four full days.  Not a HUGE difference, but enough to make the pit of my stomach unhappily churn. I will, eventually, have Mondays at home.  But for the next couple of weeks I'll actually be going in all five days as my students transition from their summer schedules to fall schedules.  I'm most worried about Tuesday - Thursday as I will be gone ALL day and see very little of the girls.  I'm comforted by the fact that they will be with my mom and sister (and of course Scott) in my absence, but it still makes me sad that I'm going to be missing so much time with them. Apparently going back to work doesn't get easier no matter how old your children are.

Millie will be in school during the morning hours -- which is a whole other reason to be anxious (without LOOKING anxious so that I don't pass that anxiety on to Millie).  We've visited the school with Millie several times, and met her teachers.  We took pictures and wrote a short story about the things she will do at school and the people she will be with.  We watch a lot of Sesame Street clips about school, we've bought new clothes and we play school all the time.  I think she's ready.  I'm not sure I am. 

Millie has, of course, been in daycare before and I have worked full time before but this all feels different.  Probably because it is, and it's new, and different and new can be hard ... .  I just have to remind myself that new and different and can good too and is the catalyst for growth in all of us :).